HOw my birth experiences help me to be a better birth doula

How my birth experiences help me to be a better Birth Doula

I have had 3 very different births with a miscarriage thrown in between my boys. Each birth has taught me so much and I am thankful for them all because I can now use that knowledge to help other woman.

First birth=Many Reasons

​My first birth was a failed induction. I went in at 39 weeks because I was ready to be done and I was put on loads of pitocin and my water broken really early on. I had an epidural almost right away after the pain started. I just remember grabbing on to the side of my bed and my nurse who was my cousin (who was so super sweet with me) told me not to hold my breath and asked if I wanted an epidural, which I did. It was always my plan to use one for labor pain and I was ready for it.  I labored in many different positions (see pic below) but I never made it passed 4cm. I was then taken back to have a non emergency c section. The doctor was half way through my c section and I could feel him doing something, I was yelling out from the pain and fear and he stopped right away. He realized my epidural was not efficient enough to work as my pain blocker for surgery and was I put under general anesthesia. My baby girl was born weighing 9lbs 3 oz at 6:40pm and I met her at 11:00pm when I woke up. I felt horrible and was so nauseous and shaking. I didn't want to hardly hold her or breastfeed her. I literally don't have any pictures of us together in the hospital at least that I have ever seen.  I had postpartum depression with her. It was a sad beginning but thankfully she is almost 9 now and we have such an amazing mother daughter bond that just started MANY months after she was born. This delivery helps me as a doula because I have personal experience in: Induction, failed induction, Pitocin, epidurals, non emergency c section and emergency c section, epidural as a pain blocker for c section and general anesthesia for pain blocker and postpartum depression.
Here is the below pic I promised :-)

​Second birth = New Reasons

Years later, after many many months of trying to conceive on fertility meds for PCOS I got pregnant with my son. I wanted a VBAC a (vaginal birth after cesarean), but my doc was not on plan with that and basically told me all the CONS to having a VBAC and none of the PROS and I was terrified plus my daughter had been 9lbs 3oz so my babies were ''too big" for me to birth. I had waited so long for this baby and I didn't want to lose him. So I opted for the repeat c section. This c section was more calm and I got to see him right after he was born but still I was so drained and tired from all the drugs in my system. I could hardly keep my eyes open after he was born, and the morphine made me itch really bad. We finally got to bond about 45 minutes after he was born and it was very nice. I just remember staring at him all night long. I was in LOVE!! It took me 8 full weeks both times to heal from each c section. Reasons why this birth helps me be a better doula I have personally experiences a good and calm c section. If you opt to have a c section or end up needing one for some reason I can help you prepare not only from a trained aspect but from a personal one. I also breastfed this child right from the beginning. It was much different than my first. I had a wonderful lactation consultant come in and help me out. PS he weighed 9lbs 2 oz

​Everyone was there to see my son and take our family picture right after birth and I could hardly open my eyes

​Third birth = WAY  different

When I got pregnant with my next son also from fertility meds I asked my doctor again about a vbac and again I got the same answer. No! I then joined a vbac support group on Facebook where I learned a lot. I tried other doctors out but none seemed to be very open minded about my want for my third child's birth. I was given a suggestion from the Facebook group to see if my city had an ICAN chapter for VBAC moms. I called the number on the website and asked the woman who she suggested I try next as a provider and if she had heard of any doulas that knew about VBACS. To my great surprise, she was a doula and had many clients that had vbacs and had 2 vbacs herself. She also gave me a doctors number who fully trusted my bodies ability to birth. After meeting that doctor I met with and interviewed her and knew she was the person I wanted to help me. She taught me so much and helped me with anything I needed. My body went into labor on it's own with contractions for 2 hours before I took a shower and laid down for bed. The moment I laid down I heard a POP. I stood up and my water broke all the way to my bathroom where I sat on the toilet and the rest came out. The contractions got harder and harder. We called our doula and we went to the hospital. We labored on the birth ball, in the huge tub( see the wonderful battery operated candles my doula provided ), on my knees on the bed laying over the birthing ball kind of like on all fours with LOTS of pushing on my back for my back pain. There was literally a moment where I seriously thought, I couldn't vaginally have him and that I was going to need a c section. My lovely doula reminded me over and over again...you are not broken. You CAN vaginally have a baby. Patience is needed but you CAN do this. She helped me not only with comfort measures but also was helping me emotionally. She also helped my husband be there for me and showed him different ways to help me through labor.   My son was born VAGINALLY weighing 8lbs 10oz at 4:16pm. Pushing felt amazing. I got to immediately hold him and kissed him and nursed him. It was blissful. I knew this is exactly what I needed and wanted. 

About 6 months later I realized I wanted to support other moms like my sweet doula supported me.
She now lives in Houston Texas and I miss her. Her ability to gently yet strongly support me during my labor will always be such a sweet memory. The moms I have supported have each taught me so much about women and the strength women possess. My goal for each client is to get to know each one as an individual and help them along their journey and be a blessing to them.